Learn about building a healthier relationship

Ways to build a healthier relationship

Relationships need attention and commitment to keep them working well.
Spotting and addressing small problems early can help prevent them from becoming much bigger later on.

The following tips can help maintain that feeling of ‘falling in love’ and keep your romance healthy:

While these tips are valuable in romantic relationships, they are also valuable in maintaining healthy relationships with your co-workers, friends and family.

Stay connected through communication

Good communication is how you stay connected and what makes a relationship work. No matter how long you have been together or how much you love each other, without good communication, your relationship will have a rocky road.

Here are 9 ways to communicate better, click on the pictures to find out more:

**Set aside time to speak with each other**

**Have important conversations face to face**

**Be honest and open about your feelings**

**Look for your partner's non-verbal cues, like when they are feeling stressed, sad or angry**

**Share positive feelings like what you appreciate and admire about your partner, and how important they are to you**

**Celebrate each other's accomplishments and successes**

It’s worth remembering that we all have different communication styles, and sometimes this comes down to our culture. For example, people from different cultures can vary in how verbally direct they are with each other, how they display affection and how they give cues as to how they’re feeling. Relationships involving people from different cultures can be both exciting and complicated. When you and your partner come from different cultures, talking about race and culture can help you understand each other and communicate better.

Be clear about boundaries

Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to share everything and do everything together. You are still an individual with your own needs, interests and desires. The same goes for your partner. We all have our comfort zones and it is important to be clear about what you are and are not comfortable with. All boundaries that you or your partner set are valid and should be respected, no matter how small the boundary is.

These are signs of a healthy relationship with boundaries

Having outside interestsNot solely relying on your partner to make you happyRespecting each other’s choices and differencesHaving outside friendshipsAble to communicate openly Accepting when the relationships is over — **Having outside interests**
**Not solely relying on your partner to make you happy**
**Respecting each other’s choices and differences**
**Having outside friendships**
**Able to communicate openly**
**Accepting when the relationships is over**

Feeling incomplete without your partnerDepending on your partner alone to make you happyManipulationJealousyFeeling unable to communicate openly Unable to accept the relationship is over — **Feeling incomplete without your partner**
**Depending on your partner alone to make you happy**
**Manipulation**
**Jealousy**
**Feeling unable to communicate openly**
**Unable to accept the relationship is over**

These are examples of boundaries in a relationship that are not healthy

Adapted from the Break the Cycle website

Know your own boundaries. If you are not sure - whether these are sexual or non-sexual boundaries - discuss this with your partner and ask to go slow or have a safe word in place. Remember - your partner is not a mind reader! Make sure to communicate what you are and are not comfortable with.

A partner who does not respect your boundaries does not respect you. You might want to reconsider whether this is a good relationship for you.

Conflict resolution

Conflicts come up in every relationship – it’s normal. But unresolved conflict can lead to resentment or ongoing problems that could end up affecting your mental and physical health. So it’s important to try and work through conflicts, sooner rather than later.

12 ways to manage conflict in your relationship:

**Think about what you want to to say beforehand**

**Don’t jump to conclusions, find out facts rather thank guessing motives**

**Communicate your feelings and needs clearly - use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements**

**Concentrate on the problem and don’t get distracted by minor issues**

**Be aware of your tone and body language - don’t be aggressive or disinterested**

Respect each other, even during an argument. If your partner swears at you, calls you names or ridicules you, tell them to stop. If they don’t, walk away and tell them that you don’t want to continue arguing right now

**Try to understand your partner’s perspective and make sure they understand yours**

**Try to work towards a solution that you can both live with**

**It’s not about winning - try to understand each other, not defeat each other**

**Accept responsibility for any hurt feelings you may have caused**

**Know when it’s not working and it’s time to let go**

Adapted from the Better Health website

Remember that it isn’t you versus your partner. It is both of you versus the problem.

Talk to a professional

If you are experiencing more serious problems or challenges in your relationship, it can help to speak with a counsellor or mental health provider. They can help you find a healthy solution for both partners.

Services which can help:

Relationships Australia

Tel: 1300 364 277

Australian College of Relationships Counsellors

Tel: 1800 806 054

1800 RESPECT

Tel: 1800 737 732

Family Relationship Advice Line

Tel: 1800 050 321

QLife

Tel: 1800 184 527

Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia