Healthy LGBTQI+ relationships

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Ways to build a healthier relationship

Many factors that contribute to a healthy relationship in heterosexual couples or cis-gendered people are the same for LGBTQI+ relationships:

  • Communicate with each other

  • Respect each other's boundaries

  • Give each other space to hang out with friends and family

  • Respect each other's financial autonomy

  • Make sure you and your partner are tested for STI's and take any other precautions you need

Other factors have particular significance for LGBTQI+ relationships. A supportive partner in a LGBTQI+ relationship is one who:

  • Respect your chosen gender pronouns or name

  • Never threatens to out you to people

  • Never tells you you’re not a real lesbian, gay man, trans person or however you identify

Adapted from the Love is Respect website

Click here to see ACON’s Let’s Celebrate videos of people talking about their relationships in the queer community

For more information about violence in LGBTQI+ relationships and what to do about it, see:

 

Seeking Help

Just like heterosexual relationships, some LGBTQI+ relationships can be abusive. Reporting abuse to police, health services or support services can be difficult.

People in the LGBTQI+ community may have had negative experiences with the police or courts in the past, due to homophobia or misconceptions. Police may not have taken abuse seriously due to their beliefs that men hitting each other is normal or that women aren’t violent. Some people may not be ready to reveal how they identify and so don’t report abuse they are experiencing. People in the LGBTQI+ community may also lack support from their friends and family due to prejudice against their sexual orientation or gender.

Services available for support:

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Twenty 10

Counselling, information and support services to help people live healthy, well-adjusted lives within the lesbian, gay and related communities

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Gen Q

Services supporting young same-sex attracted and gender variant people

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Tel:  1800 069 115

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Tel: 1800 184 527

(online chat: 3pm - midnight)

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Tel: 1800 015 188

 

Recognising what is and isn’t a healthy relationship can help you improve your partnership or know when to leave before it’s too late. To recognise an abusive relationship, see the Domestic violence tab of this website.